I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
