...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
the liver wants what the liver wants
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
