Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
