I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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