afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
