i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
