I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
