i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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