Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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