just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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