Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
