I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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