and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
