your room smells of hookers.
And success
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
