i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
