it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
