omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
