I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
