he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize