So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
