your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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