Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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