You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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