put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
