that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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