i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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