What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
