proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
