Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
