I showed him my bush... on skype.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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