so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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