If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
