Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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