easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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