im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
