ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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