whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.