The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament