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How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Randomize
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