whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?