just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
