Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I will be naked everywhere
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
