Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
