Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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