i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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