Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize