I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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