Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize