Jerry, you need to find god
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
