I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
