A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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