why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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