there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
