At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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