Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
