Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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