He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
