The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The air was thick with penises
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
