Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
