Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You ate ashes out of my bong
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize