Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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