Just fell off a train. Bad.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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