I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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