New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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