i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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