We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
