Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
how does that bad decision feel?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
