Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize